Honduras Border

El Salvador/Honduras Border.

Worst border ever.  Worse than Russia.

1. First checkpoint, we slow to show our El Salvador bike paperwork. (5 minutes)
2. Truck full of fixers pulls in FRONT of us and blocks our exit.  (2 seconds)
3. 3 guys jump out the truck, and surround Cory (20 seconds)
4. Another couple fixers come out of the woods.  (20 seconds)
5. Cory is in the lead and has 5 guys all poking and asking him if they can help.  (10 seconds)
6. Cory loses it on them (1 second)
7. El Salvador Immigration control.  Hand over our passports, scanned, hands them back.  No charge.  (5 minutes)
8. Fixers are all over us asking for money.
9. Ride to Honduras side of border. (5 minutes)
10. Honduras Immigration control.  Same thing as El Salvador.  Show passport, scan, $3.00 US charge. (5 minutes)
11. Honduras Customs.  Informed we need import forms for Motorcycle import.   
12. Customs agent points to a building that sell pens and stationary.  We're sceptical.  We go in anyway.  
13. Mill around a bit. (5 minutes)
14. Led through a door to a dingy office with a computer.  
15. We hand over passports and registration.  Cory and I are uncomfortable.  
16. Cory leaves to go double check with customs officer.  
17. I ask how much, and am told $45 US for them to fill out the form. 
18. I proceed to swear at them.  
19. They inform me that they are closing, the bank is closed, and we are welcome to wait overnight for the forms tomorrow.  
20. I grab our stuff and walk back to the main building.  
21. Cory meets me there with another customs officer.  He points us to a completely different building.  
22. I dawns on us that the Customs guys (at least some of them) are in cahoots with the fixers.
23. We go to the second building.  
24. We meet Fat Guy in an official customs T-shirt   
25. We pull all our paperwork out… passport, registration, license, El Salvador customs document.  
26. Fat guy says we need 3 copies of each document, along with 2 copies of our El Salvador customs receipt.   10 minutes
27. Walk over to copy place, get 8 copies each. 10 minutes
28. Walk back (30 seconds)
29. Fat guy takes originals, all copies, hands to girl in another room.   She does stuff with them. 15 minutes
30. Mill around for a bit. (5 minutes)
31. Girl comes out, asks for money and bribe.  (I think, she speaks no english). (15 minutes)
32. She types bribe request into Google Translate.
33. Google translate mangles the translation.  (5 minutes)
34. More googling.  Less understanding. (10 minutes)
35. Mill around a bit.
36. I finally get it.  $35 for the document (it's a road tax, we know about it, we've researched it, it's real), and about $35 more for a bribe.  
37. I balk at the bribe. (5 minutes)
38. She says "no problem" (in Spanish),  if we want to sit with the bikes all night, she would be happy to process us in the morning.
39. Mill around for a bit.
40. I have an idea! (1 second)
41. Go outside (it's now dark).  
42. Update Cory for a bit.  Grab Helmet Cam. (5 minutes)
43. Go back inside.  Point camera at girl.  Tell her to start talking, and I will record what she says to get a "translation"
44. She says about 10 words, thinks better of it, and COMPLETELY CHANGES HER ATTITUDE. (5 seconds)
45. $35 for all paperwork.  No Problem.  No more bribe. (5 seconds)
46. Fat Guy tires of proceedings, and goes home.
47. Girl starts processing paperwork.(2 hours)  (really, just us.  4 bikes., only people in line.)
48. Troy's paperwork.
49. Walk over to copy place.  Get 8 more copies (5 minutes)
50. Hand to girl.  Sit.  Wait.  She fills out form in writing, then enters into computer (20 minutes)
51. Troys' paperwork… DONE!
52. Darren's paperwork.
53. Walk over to copy place.  Get 8 more copies (5 minutes)
54. Hand to girl.  Sit.  Wait.  She fills out form in writing, then enters into computer (20 minutes)
55. Darren's paperwork… DONE!
56. Cory's paperwork.
57. Walk over to copy place.  Get 8 more copies (5 minutes)
58. Hand to girl.  Sit.  Wait.  She fills out form in writing, then enters into computer (20 minutes)
59. Cory' paperwork… DONE!
60. Tim's paperwork.
61. Walk over to copy place.  Get 8 more copies (5 minutes)
62. Hand to girl.  Sit.  Wait.  She fills out form in writing, then enters into computer (20 minutes)
63. Tim's' paperwork… DONE!
64. Leave customs office.  Pitch dark now.   We seem to be the only ones here stopping.  Everyone else just drives by.
65. Get on bikes, ride 1/2 km.  First checkpoint. 
66. Pull out customs document.  Guy looks at it and asks for a copy.  I say "no copy"  He shrugs and hands it back.  OK
67. Cory, Troy and Darren… same story.
68. Waved through checkpoint. (5 minutes)
69. Ride 200 yard.  Another Checkpoint!  Cops this time.  They flag us over.
70. Get off bikes.  Full paperwork check.  
71. Passport, stamps, Customs document, all get a complete go through.. even though we just had one… 200 YARDS AGO!!!! (10 minutes)
72. Waved through.
73. Ride 32km to nearest town. (20 minutes)
74. Another checkpoint.  Waved through.
75. Check into $60 US per night hotel with no hot water, no internet. (10 minutes)
76. Take cold shower. (3 minutes)
77. Swim in cold pool. (15 minutes)
78. Go to restaurant, order meal.  Wait (1 hour)
79. Eat cold meal with tough, chewy beef. (10 minutes)
80. Walk back to room. (2 minutes)
81. Write out crappy border story (1/2 hour)
82. The End.

Moral:  Next time,  don't come to Honduras.